A good day!

Hey kids,

I have been feeling god awful for a couple of weeks now but today I feel fabulous! This past week I have barely been able to keep any food down - band has felt tight as a fish's arsehole. And in between all the PBing, I've been nauseaus. Not fun at all I can tell you! The ginger pills & bikkies seem to have done the trick though. The other problem is that when I do have food I'm craving carbs big time. All I want is pasta and potato! I've been having a bit of it too which hasn't been to kind to Mr Scales (even including the stuff coming back up again!).

Went and saw Bowater (Fill doc) on Monday and filled him in on my latest situation. He's a bit of a douche. I get a lecture everytime I go there and I feel like saying. Dude. I've been banded for 2 years now. I know what I should be doing and what I should be doing, but I tell you right now I'm not going on this strict eat by the time of the day and only what you say BS you're going on about. If I wanted to and could live my life on a strict diet I wouldn't have needed the band! But I don't say that, I just nod and say what he wants to hear and get out of there. I told him I didn't want any fill, even though some days I feel quite hungry because I don't want to make things worse when the band is tight.

I had a shocking night of reflux the other night too. Fingers crossed everything settles down this weekend. Ironically it is the week I would have been due for my period if I wasn't up the duff. Not sure if that has anything to do with the added restriction. Could be that because apparently my body is producing a heck of a lot more blood for this whole baby making caper, I've got period-like bloating impacting on my band. Who knows. So if the nausea dissipates and the tiredness stays at a manageable level I'll be feeling fine. Other than that not much other pregnancy stuff. Except my libido is GAWN. Poor hubby. He was reading in one of our books that pregnant ladies get horny as hell, unfortunately it seems to have had the opposite effect on me!! He's been a little champion though and a major support which I really appreciate!

Managed to get to the gym once this week. Which was once more than the past 3 weeks! Given I'm feeling so fab today I'm going to go tonight after work if the tiredness stays away.

Weekend plans - Finally finish off my thank you cards from the wedding (how slack am I!) and maybe check out the Mundaring Truffle show.

Anyhoo, back to Friday Filing at work!

Fill in/Fill out

Sometimes this banding journey really blows. At the same time, it's saved my life. So you put up with the lows because you know the highs are awesome. Simply had to go to the doc today after another night spewing up mashed potato (which I still did again this morning). Have also PB'd up soup and water so it was high time. I thought it would go back to normal after my phantom period sideaffects abated but they're still lingering as well and I love food too much to have to see it again a few hours later. Not to mention the excruciating back pain I was having. So they squeezed me in at midday to see Dr Maria Ingram who's really lovely. She wanted to take 0.5ml and I was like "FUCK NO". I was thinking more like 0.1ml or 0.2ml. She explained that that simply wouldn't be enough to relieve the pressure because by now everything is so aggravated and swollen in there we need the band to be looser so it all eases. She agreed to remove 0.4ml and said that if I was having any probs at all tonight or tomorrow I need to come back in for more removed. Clearly my band can't tolerate large fills of 0.75ml that I had a couple weeks ago so from now on any top ups will have to be in the 0.25ml range. Very gradual. I also still have to stick to fluids for the rest of today. By the docs scales I've lost about 2.5kgs since the 30th May.

I'm currently slowly eating a Vaalia yoghurt (something that I also PB'd this week) and it seems to be going down ok so far so that's good.

Apologies to Yvonne & Sue - I promise I will get those clothes to you soon!

I will leave those clothes that are still available till the end of June people so pipe up if you still want any! When July hits I'll donate them to St Vinnies.

Hope my 23 followers are enjoying reading these blogs - if I'm not following you, drop me a comment with the link to your blog. And sorry to those I am following - I've been reading the blogs but don't always have time to comment.

From one extent to another

So when I got my fill a couple weeks ago I was back in no hungerland which was great. Seemed to be able to eat enough too (as per my Food Porn post below!). For some reason though Sunday and yesterday I had moved from "no hungerland" to "PB/Vomit City". I know the difference between the PB and Vomit too. Last night couldn't even keep water down and I was up til about 4am back and forwards to the toilet ending up with reflux. Not fun at all. It's so weird though coz for the last few days I've felt like I've been about to get my period - seriously feeling bloated and having cramps. The thing is TTOM is not due until over a week away. It's not unusual for me to be more restricted during TTOM but it is unusual to be this restricted 10 days away. Very, very odd. GB wants me to have some fill removed but I only have 3ml in my 10ml band and I felt good last week. Next appointment is 2 weeks away - can't put up with it that long but will see how I go over the next few days.

In happier news, congrats to Yvonne over at http://banditblossum.blogspot.com/ who welcomed Lucas into the world a few days ago.

Fill er up!

Hey kids,

Just been to see Doc Bowater this morning. Did not want to look at the scales and I really wish I hadn't! Lordy bigordy. I'm even too embarrassed to type the number here. Any hoo we added 0.75ml into my band taking it up to 3.75mls. This is still 0.5ml lower than what I was before the whole pouch dilation episode the week before the wedding but hopefully enough to curb my appetite and portion sizes. Geez that man can yabber on too. Yes I know what I should be doing but I'm too farking hungry! Give me back that period where I didn't think about food and wasn't hungry till 2pm! He wants me to be in a place where I start to get hungry around 12 midday which would still be better than where I am at the moment - which is hungry every second of the flipping day! He also wants me to only eat sweet foods (ie chocolate) one day a month! I can't wait to tell hubby this coz he will laugh his arse off. I know I'm eating far too much chocolate and icecream and milo at the moment so I am going to try to cut this down to once a week.

I think I'm going to give the City to Surf a go too. I've walked it twice and it's not a fun track. It's 12kms and about 3 real doozy of hills. I'd like to try and "run" it this year. It's in August. I've signed up for the weekly training schedules and I looked at week 1 and nearly cried in fear!! It's going to be tough but I really need another goal to keep me motivated. Because apparently being bridesmaid for my sister in September isn't enough!

Was going to put up another batch of clothes today but left the list at home so will do it tonight or tomorrow so check back! If any international readers are interested you're more than welcome to the clothes if you pay for postage!

Have I mentioned that I'm off to Bali in like 6 weeks? My sister is 30 in july so 4 of us are off to Bali for 5 nights. Look there's another goal I should be heading towards- need to fit into my honeymoon bathers!!

Well better get stuck into work. Short week this week as we're having Friday off and heading to Yallingup for the long weekend. I can't wait!

New day

I've been wanting to do it for a while, but with a wedding looming, its not the best time to go all Felicity with your hair do, but yesterday I finally got the restyle I've been hanging out for! Chopped off about 3 inches, layered & texturalised into a concave look at the back and coloured my hair dark. It feels amazing! Here's a dodgy pic I took in the loo when I got back to the office -


Should have weighed myself before and after, coz I reckon I would have dropped a kg! Gave GB shit about it all day telling him to put my GHD straighteners on ebay and how good it felt to have shaved my head. When he saw me he said "wow that's dark, I thought you were getting a haircut?". Men! He did say later that night that he really liked it so that's good.

Remember how I weigh myself everyday, well I haven't done that this week. I just knew it would be all bad and I just can't look at it. The good thing is I'm feeling a lot better this week, have been to the gym Monday & Tuesday after work too. My eating? Well I think it's been better but I'm honestly not sure anymore. I'll weigh on Friday and see how I'm doing. Still definitely need another fill, the question is, how much? I actually bought some Biggest Loser shakes to try for lunch or dinner.. Haven't done so yet though.

My sister in law got banded last week. I hope it goes well for her. GB and I tried to give her all the information we knew because we know how hard we've worked exercise/eating wise and we also know that she'll expect the weight to come off without the exercise and I'm sure she'll eat crap. We tried to instill in her that she will have to work hard with the band and that it's a tool, not a miracle cure. Anyway, I wish her the best with her journey (not that she read's this blog).

Anyhoo, hope all 15 of my readers are going well!

Blech

Hey guys,
Sorry for the delay between posts, been busy with work and life.. you know how it is! Anyway just to let you all know I saw Dr Bowater (who frankly is a bit of a sanctimonious twat) who agreed to put in .5ml fill. Not much change though which is a shame. Got another appointment at the end of May so will get in another .5ml. I'm taking it easy because I don't want to get to the same probs I was having before. He did give me this nugget of information in curing those 3pm sugar cravings. Red Wine. Apparently red wine actually will satiate you whereas white wine makes you want to eat and chocolate is.. well.. not good for you. Unfortunately I can't stand red wine, also not sure how the boss would like me sitting in my office with a vino! Anyway, it may help others so I'm putting it out there.

This week I'm finally starting to feel a bit better (7 weeks of being sick is really farking frustrating). Still got a sniffle and a bit of a cough but I'm down to using my puffer only once a day which is great. I'm on a mission to work out 5 times this week. Managed 3 trips to gym last week plus pilates once. Not at full steam though. Yesterday I did my HRM program on the bike for 30mins and burned 300cals which is pretty good. Was planning to get back to the C25K program but got a solid headache with about 10mins to go on the bike so talked myself out of it. Spewing a bit about the running. I'm doing the HBF Run for a reason in a couple of weeks - doing the 4.5km and wanted to run the whole thing, but doubt I'll be able to do it now. Will give it a red hot go of course though!

Oh the half ironman. GB was amazing as were all our friends. He would have been happy to finish in under 6.5hrs but was aiming for 6hrs 5mins. He did it in 5hrs 50mins! And that was with a shithouse start to the morning when 10mins before his swim was about to start, his wetsuit zip broke. This meant he had to swim in the freezing ocean in just his tri suit. More than anything it messed with his mind, he was fuming still after the 1.9km swim! And it wasn't near his best time for that distance either. But he made up for it with a blinder in the 90km ride and a solid 21km run. I made signs to hold up as they went past - will post some pics when I get them from our friend. The other boys who did it did well too. 1 did it in 5hrs 36 and the other in 6hrs 20. My friend from highschool, Alison, has been sick for 6 weeks too and managed to do it in 5hrs 37. She's phenomenal! Unfortunately GB and one of the other guys ended in the medic tent on completion which was a bit scary when we couldn't find them for an hour. We went in there to find his mate laying on the floor and GB on a bed, wrapped in space blankets and looking very pale. Apparently they were really dehydrated (GB forgot to apply sunscreen and got burnt and heat stroke) and started vomiting. GB had a needle in his leg to stop the vomiting (he complained more about how sore he was from the needle than the actual event!). They were both dizzy and had the shakes. After a couple of hours though they were feeling a lot better and against the doc's advice still had a couple celebratory beers. They all pulled up amazingly well too.

GB's next plan is a marathon - he's doing it as part of a team in the full ironman in December but might try the Perth marathon in June too. He's a machine. If you'd said 3 years ago at 127kgs he'd be doing triathlons and marathons he'd have laughed his arse off!

Anyway we had a fabulous 5 days away down south. Went and caught up with our wedding photographer who showed us these gorgeous but outrageously expensive wedding albums. We hummed and haa'd about it for a couple of days. Did some research on the net and couldn't find comparable albums any cheaper so decided to go for it. Our photos are slowly going up on the online gallery - hopefully they'll all be up by the end of this week so we can start designing the album.

And we've booked a trip to Sydney! Jetstar had a "friend flies for free" deal which meant we got 2 x return tix with extra baggage for about $430. Bargain. We'll be over for 10 days in November but will hopefully be visiting my aunty & uncle up past Port Macquarie for a few days too.

Bridal stuff back on our agenda with my sis getting married in 4months. We finally found our bridesmaid dresses on Saturday thank goodness. They're nice too - a one shoulder, full length number - unfortunately not on their website and we forgot to take pics. But my even more noticeable lumps and bumps made me realise I need to pull my finger out and drop this weight I've put on since the wedding!

Anyhoo, busy busy at work so must get back to it!



PS - My previous post was more a reflection on how I'd rather think I was pregnant than admit that I'm putting on weight because of what I was eating, as opposed to disappointment about not being pregnant. For the record, I'm off the pill but not trying to, or not trying to conceive. What will be, will be. But thanks for all the comments!

I'm back - grab a cuppa it's going to be a long one!

Hey guys,

Thanks for all your comments on my photos. I mentioned facebook having more photos so if you want to add me as a friend that's cool but pls don't publicly say anything on my wall about lapbanding because as you know, it's a bit of a secret! I've added a little avatar thingy to the right which if you click on it will give you an email address for me - not sure if you can use this to search for me on facebook or not but if you flick me an email we'll work it out between us!

I've started wading through all the blogs I've missed but I'm a bit all over the shop. I use this RSS feed toolbar that scrolls across my browser with unread posts but they're not in any sort of order that I can tell so it's a bit like Blog Post Lucky Dip! I'm especially loving the ones about "lady bits"! I will comment when I can but until I get through the backlog I may not - don't be offended! If you're on my bloglist I'm reading you!

The last 6 weeks have been so insane I don't know where to start! I'll start with my hens night the week before the wedding. My sisters had planned the whole thing and I knew some vague details but that was it. They picked me up mid afternoon and we drove to some hotel apartments in the city. They'd booked a 3 brm apartment for us to stay in over night for the 3 of us plus 2 of my close friends and my cousin who lives in Sydney who came early just for the hens night. We had a few cosmos and some nibblies and then I was told that I had to sit in a seat and they were going to tie me to it and blindfold me. I was having none of that shit! I refused to be tied up but sat there blind folded. They knew I didn't want a stripper so I wasn't too stressed and then someone came in behind me and I think they were playing "You can leave your hat on" and someone started blowing in my ear and giving me a lapdance! I assumed it was one of my girlfriends and then my blindfold was taken off and in front of me was one of my best friends from England! My sisters, dad & mum had paid to fly her over for the wedding! It was amazing, there were tears and screaming! After more cosmos we all frocked up (we all wore masquerade masks and caught the bus to Northbridge for dinner with about 20 other friends and family members. After a bit of kerfuffle about where the table was located, we tucked into some champers and dinner. During the night my sisters had arranged rounds of Emma Trivia. It was heaps of fun. Then about half of us headed off to a karaoke bar where as usual we got shitty about our songs not being picked and were almost about to leave when we finally got some on. We partied on there (numbers dwindled) till about 2am, then headed to a club which had an area upstairs playing 80's' & 90's music. There we came to an epiphany. The girls of today wear FLAT shoes!! Here we were being all hardcore in our ridiculous heels and they've smartened up and worn flats! Anyway at about 4.30am we decide a trip to Fast Eddy's (24hr cafe) is in order for some chips and sundaes (what else would we eat at 4.30am?). We walked back to the apartment and finally fell asleep at about 5.30am. I could only sleep for a couple of hours and I'm telling you I was unwell. I'm far too old for those sorts of shenanigans!

And that started a downward slide that week. I assumed it was lack of sleep and a hangover but all of a sudden food was revolting - I couldn't stomach anything (YAY I hear you say? Not that much fun in reality). Then the reflux started again and it was BAD. I was nearly in tears each night. Tuesday I called Watson's rooms and they didn't have any doctors in that day but got me in the next day. I saw Maria Ingram (think I blogged a bit about it). She was concerned because I didn't have that much fill in to begin with. She took out about half and said she'd left about 1.7ml in - which is less than you have when you're first banded. As I mentioned she sent me for a barium swallow in case I had a slip. I might add that trying to fit in time for a doc appt and a barium swallow while you're trying to get the final bits of your wedding organised is NOT easy! Anyway it turned out I had a band dilation which is a stretched pouch probably caused when my band was too tight (regular readers will know I've had quite a bit of probs with this). Dr Ingram called me while I was having my nails done to say she got the report and basically I need to get back to basics to relieve any pressure on my band to allow the stomach pouch to retract to its normal size. Which has not been easy as the hunger has slowly returned and my portions are getting back to pre band sizes!!! Hard to manage while you're on your honeymoon! Anyway I decided to put that all aside to concentrate on the big day.

I had the beginnings of a head cold that week before too. Then on Friday (day before wedding) I woke up with NO voice. Pretty hard to say your vows when you can't speak! Over the day it came back, scratchy but back. Thursday night we picked up all my family who were coming in from Sydney & Melbourne. It was a great reunion. Friday we all headed to Margaret River (about 3hrs south of Perth). I should mention that since December Perth has had virtually no rain and the weather has been ridiculously warm. Well in Margs on Friday it was cool and overcast. I was not impressed. Everyone said though that its good that there's clouds because it makes for better photos! Anyway, Friday night we all surprised GB with one of his best friends from England. He was over at Christmas and told me he was going to try to come back but with his job and $$ it may not be possible, but it all came together. GB almost lost his mind! Fri night it was a friend's birthday so 10 of us headed to Must Winebar and had dinner (yummo). Saturday morning arrived and GB took off first thing for golf with his friends - the last I'd see him before the ceremony.

A little bit later my sister called from her apartment to see if i wanted to walk into town for a coffee. So we did that. We also had to go to the chemist to see if they had anything to numb her throat. She had the WORST case of pussy tonsils I've ever seen! So bad that one of her glands was so swollen that it was causing a massive lump on the side of her neck! She really wanted to have a good night. The chemist suggested this spray thingo which we used and she said it was immediately better. From then on we moved all the dresses to my apartment, the hair/makeup lady showed up at 11am to get us all started. The day seemed to go quite slowly, and then all of a sudden it was 4.30pm and we were all rushing around to get ready!

I knew that I'd lost a couple kgs in the past week from being so ill but hoped it came off my arse. As soon as my sis did up my dress though I knew my boobs were smaller than at the last fitting. Sure enough I had to keep hoying it up after the ceremony, during the photos!!! Luckily I'd had spaghetti straps sewn into them so I pulled them on for the reception and it was smooth sailing. We arrived at the winery and that's when I finally had a meltdown - I couldn't stop the tears! It was almost funny. I think I was so overwhelmed that the time was finally here! I pulled it together and got the show on the road. To be different, both the boys & gal's walked down either side of the guests (rather than a centre aisle). It was a bit hairy walking in heels on grass and down a few stairs (and I stepped on my dress a couple times), but I had a great laugh when I looked over to see my fiance doing a dance down the stairs to the music. (All you need is Love - The Beatles). The ceremony was pretty quick and I managed to hold it all together! Although it was a bit cold outside it all went really well.

From there the bridal party had a few pics and then returned to the winery for the cocktail reception which was fabulous. We got the 2 very quick speeches out of the way and then did our dance. GB and I danced for a minute to our song (Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol) but as that's a difficult song to dance too (no beat!) we had been practicing with the rest of the bridal party to do a evening quickstep sort of dance to Love Will Keep Us together. There was a bit of confusion at the start but we pulled it together and apparently it looked fabulous! Can't wait to see the video! Then the party got started in full swing. Our DJ was fantastic - I had to ask him to play a shit song so I could go and pee!. The cocktail food was great and everyone seemed to have a brilliant time. We'd set up a kind of photo booth with a backdrop and camera on a tripod for our guests to have photos in front of and there was a little white board for them to hold up messages. It was a bone of contention between GB and I which I won and it was a massive hit! We've had really good feedback that it was one of the best weddings they'd ever been too. After the reception we all hopped on the bus transport we'd arranged back to the hotel and then partied on in my sister's apartment till the wee hours again!

It was like a big 3 day party. The next day we had a lunch just with our immediate families and then put the word out that we'd be having a bbq in the middle of the apartments for dinner which a lot of people rocked up for.

Monday we took my Aunty from Melbourne to a few wineries and the chocolate factory and slowly headed back to Perth. That was the day that Perth was hit by the hail storms and a few of our friends have bad damage to their cars. We were lucky that we were late enough just to hit torrential rain.

Tuesday night we headed off for our honeymoon. Details of that I'll leave to another post.

Today I did an official weigh in and I'm back up to 77.5kg which is disappointing but it has been 4 weeks with basically no fill in my band and drinking wine like it was water and eating out nearly every single day.. oh and no exercise, so a 3.5kg gain is understandable! I've been pretty much fluey this whole time but this past week my asthma has been chronic. Went to my GP yesterday and he put me on antibiotics & steroids. I haven't slept properly in 3 nights which totally sucks. Was planning on getting back into exercise this week but just haven't been able to. Did do pilates on Tuesday and also went to the gym after work for 45mins cardio where I thought I might actually pass out. Will give the weekend for the drugs to kick in and hopefully will be full steam ahead on Monday.

Well that's enough for one post!

Talk to you all soon!

Mrs Em :)

Poopy

I was sure today I'd be regalling you with my delight about the fact that I'd done my measurements for the first time since August and even though I hadn't lost any weight, my how I'd lost sooooo many centimetres from my body proving that the work I was putting in was really showing coz I was clearly toning up. Well I didn't lose any farking cms. Oh a couple off my bust - whoopdedoo! It's so discouraging because I've had so many comments about how thin I'm looking and I honestly feel my upper arms, butt and "bum-bag" tummy have really changed shape and improved. Possibly in areas the tape measure doesn't go? I don't know.

On top of that I put on 200g this week. 76.9kg. POOP. Must get back into a better exercise plan. The lunchtime walking thing didn't happen this week - neither did my swim. Went on a few walk/runs though and bought the new wii active workouts - HIGHLY RECOMMEND - have started the 6 week challenge and so far have done 3 workouts. Make no mistake - sweat was poring down me! The only thing I can think of is maybe I haven't eaten enough this week. Haven't been hungry at all so have been having an iced coffee about 9.30am, yoghurt at 2.30pm and then dinner at 7.30pm. hmmm.

Went and saw Dr Warren Jones one of the fill dudes at Watson's surgery on Wednesday. Told him that there were times that I felt I could eat too much but then at TTOM I'm in agony and I've also been suffering from heartburn lately too. He said definately no fill. According to their scales I'd lost 4kgs since the last time I was there (3months ago). He asked me to book in for another 3 months time because I might need a slight un-fill - especially if TTOM or the heartburn gets worse. I liked him better than Bowater. He reminded me of a 1970's Jack Thompson - kinda geeky surfy dude. He didn't give me a lecture like Bowater usually does which was nice. He also gave me some Pariet to help with the heartburn.

My sisters, mum and I troddled off to take my wedding dress to have the alterations started. It was the first time my mum had seen the dress because she's spent most of the year in Melbourne and she loved it which was a relief. The girls told me I looked super skinny (nice to hear - but probably due to my miracle suit that was sucking me in underneath!!). I'm still worried about my upper arms being bulgy and my oprah wings underneath but not alot I can do about that now aside from my arm weights before bed time!!! I had to have the top taken in about 2-3 sizes but the hips fit well. Hope I don't look too pear shape!

On other wedding news, my sister found a wedding dress today - I had to rush over to the shop to see her in it this afternoon and she looked just beautiful. She's about a size 16-18 which in wedding dresses could mean anything up to a size 22 and of course bigger dressers are harder to come by to try on (I had to take a leap of faith when I ordered mine because it didn't fit over my hips when I tried on the size 12 sample!) Anyway I haven't heard the full story but apparently one of the places today, the lady made her cry coz she was so awful to her. What a farking beeyotch. I don't even know what happened but if I were there I would have given her a piece of my mind! Anyway they went to the place I bought mine from and found this beautiful dress that she's decided is THE one. She looked sooo beautiful and it was gorgeous and flattering and they knocked $150 off the price to put it in her budget. I'm really pleased for her. She's getting married exactly 6 months after us so it's a big year for our family!

Anyway, must go. It's beer o'clock and date night tonight!

Em :)

PS - It was super cool meeting up with Cara and MOTH last Friday night - check out her blog (The Dash) to see a pic of us!

Happy New Year!

Hi all,

Hope you've had a fabulous festive season. I've tried to pop around to all your blogs today and catch up. Nice to see most of you haven't been as slack as I have in the blogging department over Christmas & New Year! I had a great Chrissy. We started with dinner at GB's parents with his brother and his family on Christmas Eve. Had a good night even though the brother gave us these hideous outdoor art things which we hate. Seriously, art is such a personal thing - why would you buy it for anyone else? This is the same guy who has also given us 2 stuffed magpies for the garden which we have tried to leave behind everytime we move and he keeps "finding them"! Christmas morning we had GB's best friend and his wife over for breakfast. This is a tradition and we take turns hosting. We really like his best friend, unfortunately he's married to a massive mole (sorry for the term but it's the only thing that suits!) and the mole is heavily preggers with baby No 1 so now more than ever the world revolves around her. They also have a dumbarse labrador who is 2 now but still worse than a puppy - feet in the water bowl. They keep saying that her behaviour is just a typical labrador but that is just BS it's just they don't discipline her. These dogs are seeing eye dogs for crying out loud - they can be taught! Our Westie hates her too.

We got rid of them then drove to my Nonna's to give my half-sisters (ages 7, 10) their pressies. Then onto my Aunty & Uncle's for lunch with Dad's family (who I can't stand) where GB and I were told adnauseum how MASSIVELY HUGE we were last Christmas (except we weren't.... it would have been the Christmas before) and how much weight had we lost, how fat were we to start with... blah blah blah. I politely told them that I'd prefer not to say and tried to steer the conversation elsewhere. Grrrrrr

Then we cruised to my cousin's place to say a quick hi to some of my mum's family (Mum ended up staying in Melbourne with my Aunty who has just had a brain tumour removed), then back home to our place where we put on a bbq dinner for my sisters and GB's folks. Phew. Tiring much!

GB got 2 photo's that I'd had professionally taken with my 4 sisters about 4 years ago which had languished in a cupboard, professionally framed for Christmas. He also had my 2 degrees framed (and put them all up on the walls Christmas morning!). From Westie I got the Wii Fit Plus disc, Wolverine on Blu-ray and a new memory card for my camera. SCORE!

Over say 5 days from Christmas, I think I ate my (old) body weight in chocolate... soo many lindt balls... soo little time. I'm pretty sure I ate an entire pig too... Love ham off the bone! I didn't really watch what I was eating AT ALL! Obviously quantities were smaller but still. New Years Eve was hosted by my sister and I made 2 lots of icecream sandwiches (one with baileys, crunchies & maltesers and one with mint chocolate). So tasty!  We had a great great night, with mucho champagne! The next day we were going to mum's for lunch (she came back from Melb on NYE) and as we'd all crashed at Sister3's house, Sister 2 and I decided to walk from there to mum's - about 6.4kms. Have we mentioned how hot it's been in Perth? Sweltering! But luckily Jan 1 was a tad cooler and we did it in about 1hr 20 (including a couple of massive hills). We had a feed at mum's that did not agree with me and because I'd eaten some beetroot, all my PB's were a lovely purple colour - lovely!

I think that was the start of my TTOM restriction because I've pretty much struggled food wise since then. Funny that my last blog I was saying how I could eat mostly anything and then this time of month hits and BOOM, can't keep yoghurt down half the time and night reflux rears it's ugly head. I just don't know what to do in regards to a fill - any thoughts?

As some of my Facebook peeps will know, I started NO CHOCOLATE JANUARY on January 1! Regularly readers will know what a humungous challenge this will be for me. I've given myself a few loopholes (icecream & cake not included) but basically the work chocolate fridge is off limits. Today has been my first big challenge with it because it's the first day back at work since the challenge started and here it is - 2.30pm - traditionally chocolate o'clock - and I'm craving like a mofo! I'm going to try my hardest though. GB has decided as support to go without potato chips for the month too which is just as big a challenge for him as No Chocolate is for me.

After all this eating I had to have a sneak at the scales, thinking I'd probably be well and truly back into the 80's but was pleasantly surprised to see no more damage than a typical weekend for me (was sitting about 79.2kg), so phew!

In other exciting news, I got my shoes for the wedding for $25! yay!

Oh and our wedding invitations went out on the 30th - scary. Due to GB's inability to cut anything to the same size, all our guests will receive one of a kind invitations! I really love our invites, but if we ever get married again I'll be getting them done professionally.. what a farking ordeal! Anyhoo here's a pic of our main invites. We had smaller wishing well & rsvp cards in the same style but I forgot to take photos of those. Sorry they're a bit blurry but hopefully you can make them out.

[caption id="attachment_466" align="alignleft" width="225" caption="Front of the invite"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_467" align="alignleft" width="225" caption="Back of invite"][/caption]

 

Anyhoo, I must be getting back to work!

Later alligators

Em :)

Up and Down

Story of my life right there! Whilst I'm residing fair and square in the middle of plateau town it's easy to forget how far I've come. Yesterday I read Cara & Amy's blogs who reminded me that it's not all about weight. So I thought I'd reflect some if you can bear with me!

 There are plenty of other benefits to having lost 57 odd kilos (from heaviest) - that's 125lbs for my American friends. I remember not so long ago, it would take me 5-10mins to recover from walking a flight of stairs. ONE flight of stairs and I'd be huffing and puffing and about to cark it! My fitness has never been better. Even though I still can't run the 5kms I want to, after the 3kms it only takes me a minute or two to recover before I can start jogging again.

Something I think Cara mentioned I can totally identify with. Whenever we were out I used to look for the most sturdiest looking chair (and nothing with arms, that I'd have to squeeze my butt into!) to ensure it wouldn't break under me. Sad but true folks!

I love the fact that my entire day doesn't revolve around food anymore. I'm not thinking about where my next meal will come from! To be perfectly honest, I'm rarely hungry and now when I eat it's more because I'm looking for something sweet or because I know I have to eat something!

And even though I suck at pilates, I love that when I'm doing some stupid ab movement it looks like I have a super flat stomach and I can feel my pelvis bones! Nevermind the fact that the fat has just slid to the sides! haha

I'm currently wearing a size 14 pretty comfortably. I really want to be a size 12. Clothes on, I look ok but I really hate my body. My upper arms are flabby which I hate because of my weirdly disproportionate mid-upper arms. Like my shoulders are ok, above my elbow looks fine, but the bit in the middle is oddly big. Has always been that way and my sisters say they've definately gotten smaller, but anyway...I'm definately going to need a tummy tuck at some stage. Even though my skin bum bag (that's what it feels like!) has reduced in size, it's still there and I hate it. Boobs? Well boobs are like bags of marbles. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I had a breast reduction when I was 17. My boobs were huge. I can't even remember what size bra I used to wear. Anyway I went down to about a C cup. Now I'm about a B cup but they're really unattractive boobicles.

Here's some before/afters as I know some people love pics.

[caption id="attachment_444" align="alignleft" width="225" caption="Graduation March 08"][/caption]

The first one was about a week before banding. Obviously I'm in a giant cape so it makes it difficult to see how big I was but there you go anyway! The second one - well I can't find a recent full length of me but hopefully you can see my teensy waist! And my gorgeous fiance who will kill me if he finds out I've put his pic up but oh well!

[caption id="attachment_445" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="October 09"][/caption]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, I wasn't going to weigh in this week after 4 days down south eating junkfood and drinking wine, plus nearly no exercise (except for yesterday) but I though I'd jump on the bloody scales anyway and found I was back to 77.8kgs (300g loss this week). Thank you TTOM! It's so weird how you can work out and eat well and not lose, put weight on and then have a super dodgy week and lose.  But I'll take it. Coming up to the silly season which is soooo hard to keep on track. We've got multiple parties every week till New Year so I'm going to TRY to be sensible. I'm no nun though, so guaranteed there will be alcohol and lots of food but I'm going to attempt to get in my 5 days/week exercise and definately keep the water intake up. And it's going to be 37C and 39C this weekend - FARK! (98F & 102F) so maybe I'll sweat some fat off! hahaha

The band is in a pretty good place right now, even though sometimes I feel like I can eat too much. But over TTOM I was really tight - quite a few PB's and felt a bit of reflux so I don't want to make that any worse than it is. But I'm not hungry and usually satisfied after a smallish amount so that's good. I am booked in for a fill next Friday but think I'll postpone it another month.

The boys did the Busselton Ironman last Saturday and I was soooo proud of them. To recap, the Ironman is no normal triathlon it's a 3.8km swim, 180km cycle & 42.2km run. They finished it in 12hrs42min (middle of the pack). It was awesome. Bloody hot day though and the poor dog wasn't handling the sun and the swarms of people well - she had a couple of vomits, but we took her for a couple of swims at the beach while the cycling was happening (we only got to see our mate go past every couple of hours) and she loved it!  Cooled her down no worries. It was really nice to get away for a few nights and we went to Watershed to speak to our wedding coordinator to finalise a few wedding things which was fantastic.

Good luck to Girl Bandit, who's having the operation on Monday!

Funny tidbit - normally I average about 40 views a day and then a couple of days ago I had 280!!! And still no extra comments! hahaha Not sure what caused the spike but I hope people are getting something out of my ramblings!

Later,

Em :)

Challenge begins!

Week 1 Day 1. No iced coffee so far, but I have only been awake for a couple of hours. Oh yeah and I had a choc thickshake from Macca's on the way in. Geez I'm seriously useless. 400g loss in the past week so back into the 70's for the start of the challenge. I'm really going to look at portion sizes too. I'm sure I've been going way over the 1/2 to 1 cup rule.

Very excited for GB. He's decided to enter his first ever triathlon. As I've mentioned before, he and two of his friends are doing the Busselton Ironman Triathlon in December but he's decided to try it out himself in a sprint triathlon on Sunday. It's a 750m swim, 20km bike, 5km run which he can piss in separately so I'm sure he'll string it together ok. He borrowed his friend's expeno racing bike the other day and stacked it riding to work. I think he broke his pinky finger too! Plus grazed his leg down one side. Mostly just his pride injured though I think.

The fill I had last week has had some effect. I'm not as hungry as I was which is awesome and I'm feeling restriction kick in earlier which is good too. Still feel like my portions are too big but I'd rather try to work with that myself than get more fill in at this stage.

Hope everyone is well!

Em :)

Fill 'er up!

Just back from the doctors. They were running about 35mins late mind you! The waiting room was packed! To my joy just after I got there, a mum with two young boys came in, one of them screaming his box off. He wanted a dummy you see and mum didn't have one. Then he wanted to ride a tractor (WTF?). Then he wanted the dummy again and then to ride a tractor. Dummy. Tractor. Dummy.Tractor [my head explodes].  Think GB and I may have to rethink this whole having kids caper.

Anyhoo, when I finally got in to see Bowater, he said I was looking much better than I was before to which I replied "amazing what happens when you sleep through the night and don't throw up every meal! But I'm not happy". I explained to him the situation and he nodded and said that he's had the same conversation four times today. That for some reason it actually seems to get harder to find the right fill balance towards the end of "journey" than whilst you're on it. He wished he had some reason for it but he hasn't worked it out yet! So he offered me 0.5ml which I said I was reluctant to go to because I was worried about going back to the night reflux, PBing area which he understood and so we settled at 0.25mls and will review it in 4 weeks. According to his scales I've put on 1.6kgs since seeing him 7 weeks ago. I've actually just realised I've made my next appointment for 5 weeks time but oh well. To be honest, if I don't see an improvement in a couple of weeks I'll be pounding on the door for an earlier appointment anyway. I hope this fill has put me back into sweet spot town though.

Actually I did feel restriction nearly immediately (sort of). I was super hungry going in there, tummy rumbling and all that, and as soon as the fill was in, nothing - felt like I'd eaten! Awesomesauce.

Date night tonight and my turn to take GB out for dinner. I'm sooo broke though so we're off to Siena's in Leederville (Thank you very much entertainment book voucher!) which is BYO. Might start at The Oxford for a couple of bevvies before dinner. Going to have to be careful tonight though - got to get back into the habit of tiny bites and chewing - something which lately I haven't needed to do and so have slipped back into "normal" eating.

Have to gloat about some exercise feats this week. On Tuesday GB decided to run to his friends place (18kms!) and ride his bike back so that inspired me to thinking, "Maybe I could run a bit today". So after work I drove down to Burswood and took off around the bridges. It's usually 7kms but I took a shortcut (hehe) so it was about 6.3kms according to my iphone app. Anyway I ran my little heart out. And by "ran", I mean I shuffled ever so slightly faster than my usual walk speed! I had a strong head wind pretty much the whole way (How does that happen when you're going in a circle?!). I slowed to a walk 3 times for 300-400m each time but that meant that I ran just over 5kms all up! Amazement!

Then yesterday, GB had run to work (he works across the road from me) but was too buggered to run home so he took my car and I walked to the gym (about 2.5kms), did 30mins on HR trainer on bike at the gym, then walked the rest of the way home (about 6.5kms). All up it was 1hr50 worth of exercise and nearly 800 calories burned according to my HR monitor watch - which admittedly isn't too accurate. But my heart rate when walking was averaging around 130 which is pretty good.

And gorgeous weather in Perth finally! Going to dust of the bikes and take them for a spin tomorrow I think!

Have a super weekend,

Em :)

Countdown to Fill time

I'm hanging out for a fill.. I needs it .. I wants it...

Here's why - I'm hungry an hour after I've eaten, I wake up hungry, all I can think about is FOOD, I can't stay out of the fridge or cupboard, I'm eating too quickly, I'm eating too much, I'm eating too much crap and (and here's the clincher) I'M PUTTING ON WEIGHT!

So you can see I really do need a fill - all the signs are there.

The question is - how much?

In the back of my mind still remains the horribleness of everything I eat getting stuck, of night reflux, of waking up choking, of spending more time than I ever care to in the toilet, of being to frightened to eat anything at anyone's house or going out to dinner. I never want to get back to that stage again. But I clearly need some fill. I just want enough to control the hunger and portions but not so much so that I can't drink water again. I'm still 1 ml down from having the 2mls removed in August so I definately don't want 1ml in. I'm thinking somewhere between 0.25ml and 0.5ml. I guess I'll see what Bowater says about it.

To get back into the right frame of mind I'm joining into the "Spring into Summer" 6 week challenge over at We Are Slimming starting next week. If anyone else out there is interested, make sure you head over there and sign up! I'll post my goals and results here as well.

OK well I'd better do some work.

Cheerio chaps!

Anyone wondering where I've been?

No? Well ok then! Just a quick blog to say that I am still alive (as anyone following my twitter can attest to!) just been super busy with work and then a few days off last week. Have been eating and drinking up a storm so much so that I haven't looked at the scales for two weeks. So disappointed in myself. Barely exercised apart from pilates and the occassional walk too. I pissed off at myself that after all this time I still can't say NO! Anyway I've got an appt to see Bowater on the 16th so will get a fill. Probably just 0.25ml to try to control the mind hunger as I don't want to get to that vomitty/refluxy stage again. Had a massive PB/vomit last night after gorging myself on chips. CHIPS I tell ya! What a farking moron. Seriously.

Have been suffering from asthma/hayfever for the past 4 or 5 days and I'm pretty sure it's developed into a cold (just to top things off as if it wasn't bad enough feeling like shit psychologically, now I have to feel shit physically too). Completely blocked sinuses and soooo tired. Lovely. Anyway going for a swim tonight - hope I don't fall asleep in the pool and drown. Bought new bathers and boardies too.

OK will see what the damage is on Friday and promise to report back. Hopefully by then my pity party will have disbanded.

Em

Challenge Review

Did I say no chocolate? Yeah...umm.. about that... I did manage to avoid chocolate for 2 whole days - amazing! Anyway I wasn't too disappointed in my result considering on Monday I weighed over 80kgs and today's official weigh in was 78.6kg still it's a gain from two weeks ago and I'm pissed that I can't get out of these 78's!! Anyway I did drink over 1.5L of water per day (usually about 2L a day) and did the following exercise:

Monday - Gym: 20mins HR program on bike; 20mins HR program on treadmill, 15mins on cross trainer; Wii : 30min workout on PT Active

Tuesday - 60min pilates; Gym: 20 mins HR program on bike; 10mins L6 on bike

Wednesday - Gym: 20mins HR program on bike; 10mins L6 on bike; 55min Body Combat class

Thursday - 60min pilates; Gym: 30mins HR program on bike

Let me tell you that HR program farking canes! I'm dripping in sweat by the end of it and my legs are like jelly!

I have another appointment with Bowater on the 21st so will see how I go but might get a small increase in fill. I like the fact that I can eat without PBing (mostly), drink water from first thing in the morning (not just in the late arvo) and hunger is not too bad but I think my portions are creeping up and I'm snacking far too often and clearly my weight is not going down! I'm in a serious plateau and frankly it's poo.

Anyhoo, best be off... Later dudes

Em :)

Quick update

Hey kids,

Sorry I've been absent for a couple weeks. To recap:

Last Wednesday saw Bowater again. I told him in the 2 weeks since having the fill removed I've been HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY!!! Food portions increasing, looking for food, thinking about food, food food food.... So he's put in 1ml again. So far not too bad, have a bit of restriction again and not quite as hungry so happy with that. I did work out like a mad woman for those 2 weeks, doing between an hour and 2 hrs a day at the gym (did a combat class and a step class which is way too complicated for my liking!) According to the docs scales I stayed the same in those two weeks however the first time I weighed in it was like 5pm and this time it was 8.30am so I know there was a bit of damage there. Still floating in the 78's.

Pata Negra (the new tapas place we went to a couple of weeks ago) was really great but way pricey. Still prefer Duende.

Wedding stuff - My sisters and I went bridesmaid dress shopping last weekend and they bought their dresses so that's all sorted. After 2 weeks and about 10 rejections from hair/makeup people in Margaret River and me getting so stressed out that the fiance was freaking out too, it finally all worked out. The very first one I'd called said she wasn't taking bookings because they may be moving interstate. Then I saw her ad reappear on a website so I sent a message to see if her circumstances had changed and they had so we're all booked in!! Best thing is that during the week she actually lives in the city so we can do our trials up here without having to track the 3.5hrs south. Awesomesauce. I have also setup a whiteboard listing everything that needs to be done in the next 6 months. I'll take a pic.. hehehe

I've also been sick since pretty much last Monday. Had a killer sore throat Mon-Wed and then the congestion and coughing started so have been off work since Thursday. I was really pissed because it was the 12km city to surf on Sunday and I planned to run parts of it. I managed to pull myself together and actually do the 12kms - and not an easy 12km either we're talking 3 major hills and not a lot of it being flat. The last time I did it 2 years ago (and 20+kgs heavier) my time was about 2hrs 15mins. Yesterday I did it in 1hr55mins and that was being sick!!! My hip flexors and calves were sore yesterday but not bad today. GB ran most of it (had to keep stopping for people in his way and to let his mate catch up) so he did it in just over an hour. What a champ. Definately going to train for it next year and try to run the bloody thing! Just waiting now for the official results to go up on the net.

Anyhoo, hopefully will catch up on everyone's blogs soon!

Em :)

More Fill Removed

Hey kids,

I'm in a much better place now after a couple of nights sleep without waking up every couple of hours choking and coughing. I went to see Dr Bowater on Wednesday  morning. He admitted that they really have no idea when restriction just reappears for no apparent reason but that it was good that I came in to have it fixed rather than struggle on. He removed 0.5ml (more than I wanted) and said that if within 7 days I feel like I'm slipping into the "yellow zone" where I'm eating too much, getting too hungry then I should go back and he'll put a touch back in. He also said my results were pretty awesome, with my graph showing a steady decline. He asked me what my goal was, to which I replied: 72kgs and he said "way too low, your goal should be 77kgs". Screw that, I've seen myself in the mirror and I have way more than 1.5kgs of fat to lose!

He also went through the 7 rules he has found that the most successful bandits stick to:

1. No breakfast. He asked if I drank hot drinks which I said no, so he said I should have a cup of warm water early then again at 10am

2. Light lunch - eg tin tuna in olive oil

3. Nil in afternoon - no snacking!

4. Healthy dinner - eg fish & vegies

5. Nil in evening

6. 200 mins of movement outside work per week

7. Alcohol - he asked how much I drank which I said usually a couple glasses wine on the weekend which he said was fine

Haven't tried the warm water thing yet, seems a bit gross to me! I think I already do No's 2, 4 and 6 for the most part but not sure about the no snacking!!!

GB and I finished our Level 1 dancing course this week and have joined up for Level 2. I have a lot of fun and I even think GB enjoys it (even if he won't admit it!).

Pissed that Julie made it to the Masterchef final when she's been skating in the bottom 3 of contestants the entire show! Don't get me wrong, she seems like a lovely person, but can't seem to handle pressure well and her food is nowhere near the level of others who have left. Vent over.

Anyway best get back to work and dealing with complaining annoying bastards all day. Thank god the weekend is nearly here!

PS - Have put a weight graph page into my blog. Link at the top amongst the other pages FYI

Feeling Groovy

Wow, what a difference half a mil makes! I was so worried that it was going to be too much removed, that I would be starving, eating too much, and though it's early days yet, I'm going really well. I'm not getting hungry at all, feeling full after eating an appropriate amount and best of all have not PB'd in 2 days! Plus last night - no reflux. Yippee!

Anyway I lost 500g this week which isn't great given it's TTOM so I would usually lose over 1kg but considering I've been eating lasagne all week because it was all that would go down with me PBing I guess I can't complain.

Have been very happy with my exercise this week.

Sunday - walk to Tomato Lake and back (~4kms)
Monday - walk around Lake Monger (3.8kms)
Tuesday - gym for 30mins cardio
Wednesday - gym for 30mins cardio
Thursday - pilates 60mins, gym 20mins cardio, 20mins weights

Not over the top, but consistent so I'm happy with that.

Hope everyone else is going well,

Em :)

Fill out

Well my 6pm appointment was deffered back to the original 9.30am one this morning. That was unfortunate coz last night was THE worst night EVER. Coughing and spluttering does not a peaceful night's sleep make.

Anyway, Watson took out .5mls which was more than I wanted out but he wanted to be safe and said I'm probably very inflamed from the reflux and PBing. I also have to take Pariet for the next week too. He was stoked with my results, having not seen him for over 6 months. I told him I wanted to get to 75kg for the wedding and he reckons I'll be too thin!!! So not true. When I look at all my flab I think there's way more than 10kgs of excess fat there!

Also turns out that his receptionist is also getting married at Watershed Winery, a few weeks before us! Classic.

Did I say that my sister got engaged on the weekend? Well I checked out the ring on her finger last night (which I helped choose) and it looks sensational! Sooo happy and excited for them.

Not happy

I'm quite disappointed in my rate of weight loss. 300g this week and I think I've been quite good food wise and exercise wise. I've got a check up appointment with Watson's sidekick in a few weeks (1 year bandiversary) but I'm not sure if I want any fill or not. I still struggle at lunch time sometimes but at dinner I feel like I'm eating TOO much.

On a positive note, I have now lost 30kgs in under a year which I guess is a good thing. About 5kgs to go till I'm back to what I was 2 years ago.

I've even been working out on the Wii this week! I've been doing the advanced step which is HARD! and the advanced boxing! It's fun though. I ran for 2 whole minutes on the treadmill the other day (walked the other 15mins). My walking on the treadmill is increasing in speed. Yesterday walked for 7mins at 6.6km/h and then 8mins at 6.8km/h. Then played squash for 30mins. No I did not win, but our rallies are getting longer and I'm actually connecting on 50% of my backhands now!

Wedding stuff is coming along. Went down south last weekend and met with the photographer. She seems really lovely and very open to our ideas. Had another great meal at Watershed and Lisa the co-ordinator talked us into getting a DJ! We managed to get the best one down there which is good. He said we can either email him lists of songs or just tell him what we like and don't like and leave it to him. Have arranged accomodation for our guests to book and a bus to take them to/from the accom and the winery on the day. Save the dates have arrived, so we'll be sending those out this week with the accomodation info. Got a quote on the cake I want - OUCH, so having a rethink. Got quotes on a bridal bouquet - DOUBLE OUCH! So now have asked a friend of mine who did a floristry course for 12months last year and she's confident she can do it for a quarter of the price. I'm a bit of a control freak so the thought of leaving it to a friend to do gives me the shakes - I mean what if it sucks! - but she's going to practice too so I'm sure it'll be fine. Friends of ours had a really funky invite to a wedding so we're going to steal the idea for ours. Found a dress online that I like. Of course it's some international designer which only one store in Perth stocks and I'm 100% sure it's out of my price range - typical! But I'm going to try it on and if the style suits I might see how much a dressmaker would charge to make something similar.

GB bought me a big bunch of yellow lillies a couple of days ago. What a sweetheart!

Hope to get around to all your blogs today!

Em :)

PS.: Fitting into size 16 clothes again now. Bought new pair of pants for work and was more than a little pleased as to how I looked in them :)