Showing posts with label mental. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental. Show all posts

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Pathetic - table for one

Hi gang... can I call you gang?

I wasn't going to post this but then I thought, what the heck. Let the people know what kind of loser I am. Why? Because yesterday I decided I was pregnant.

And here's why -

1) I've put on weight. Surely it can't be because I'm eating like a farking trooper and not doing any exercise.. Oh and deep fried food - bring it. No that can't be the reason. Must be up the duff.

2) I've been.. how can I say it... more flatulent than normal. Can't be from all that fatty food I've been shoving down my giant gob. Must have a bun in the oven.

3) I'm sick .. again.. Obviously the demon child in my belly is causing my immune system to shut up shop. It clearly can't be because I'm run down and not looking after myself.

4) I had a funky metallic taste in my mouth .. Clearly a pregnancy symptom and not from all the drugs I've been consuming.

5) I was about 24hrs late for my period according to my iphone app.

So I peed on a stick at lunchtime yesterday. Big fat negative. And then an hour later I got my period. In my defence, I did google early pregancy symptoms and did find these things on the list, but what the hell is wrong with me! I'll find any excuse except the most simple one - that I'm eating too much crap!

Incidently I felt a bit glum when the stick was negative. Which is freaking me out as well. Also when I told GB that I got my period (I'd told him I took a test) he starting pouting and said he had a bit of hope for a minute (Even though the test was negative). Holy moly.

So I'm DEFINITELY getting a fill tomorrow.

Move aside, crazy person coming through!